When it comes to performing publicly–at work, school, or even in groups of more than one person– nerves can sometimes discourage us and hold us back. Social anxiety isn’t always something that accompanies negative experiences, but more often than not comes up when we are about to embark on something new and exciting. The thing is, it can be uncomfortable. So much so that it’s tempting to let excuses get in the way of giving whatever it is you’re interested in a shot. This even happens with dating! However, nerves are natural. It’s all part of the song and dance. The good news is with practice, you will become more comfortable taking a new step.
My schoolmates who are involved with theater at my school remind me that at the end of the day, grueling practices, and those uncomfortable butterflies, that going after what you want despite the awkward feelings is worth it. I put together a little video with them talking about this after their last performance. Hopefully, you’ll be as encouraged as I was.
One of the best ways to get out of your head, over depression, or even combat social anxiety is with volunteering. Volunteering allows you to get into action and out of your head. By serving others you are given the opportunity to not only bless others with a positive experience, but it gives you a break from your own problems so when you return you may do so with a fresh perspective. It just feels good too.
Every year my church, Holy Cross Lutheran Church, volunteers at our city’s festival that invites organizations to come together to raise money for their cause. The Pacific Coast Fog Fest has been allowed for my church to make ends meet financially as the garlic fries and sausage booth it runs brings in a lot of money. Its helped my church to remain active and alive, as well as been a joy for the community and the members of my church who Volunteer. The volunteers desire to be a positive addition to the people in the community’s day. Having worked side by side them each year, I’ve seen it really happen, bad days turned around.
And there really are some perks to helping out. Volunteering provides the opportunity to meet new people and establish connections for the future, as well as it provides you with experiences where you can learn more about yourself. A peer of mine from college, Latasha Washington, is an example of this.
Washington she began volunteering within her community while going to school and within a few years of her doing so she got to do what she loves most–travel–and was in South Africa building dozens of homes for an oppressed community. The experience not only help change the lives of many families, but she gained personal and profession connections, as well as clarity around her place within the world, and discovered some of her hearts hidden desires. Volunteering can be a rewarding experience on many levels.
No is yes? In this article “Why saying ‘no’ gets you ahead,” Camille Preston offers a great perspective on boundaries and being a “yes” man. By saying no to what’s not working, you are actually saying yes to the things that are. Your life, your happiness is your responsibility. Your choices are your choices. Other’s happiness and ability to be flexible is not your responsibility. Stop the indirect pressure to make your life worthy to other people. You only live once, so why feel like your life is any less than your own? When you take reigns of your own life and do and be where you want, the likelihood of a positive experience is high, and positive vibes is more helpful to others then giving in and being a doormat. If you feel guilty about saying “No” sometimes, anytime, or have even once, this article is worth checking out. Preston provides reasonable tips on how to manage your own life, in a way your can feel OK about.
Everyone knows the adage: good fences make good neighbors. Basically, it means to set firm boundaries. By setting boundaries, we find the freedom to behave in our best interest, with fewer distractions and fewer unwanted intrusions. This is even more important in our digital age, where there are so many people vying for our attention and so many ways to be distracted.
Building good fences—setting boundaries—is one of the most important skills to master for both personal and professional growth. And one of the most important aspects of a good fence is the ability to say no to the people, activities and engagements that we do not enjoy or that do not advance us personally or professionally. When you say no to the things that don’t help you, you are, in effect, saying yes to the things that will. By saying no, you open up the space necessary for yes.
Ever wonder why some people are so good at what they do? Why that is? How come they are so successful at what they do, and why it seems way harder for you to do the same exact thing?
It all comes down to this trait that successful people have in common: Grit. This trait- which is defined as strength and resolve- is a trait we all have, but is not developed by all. Grit means continuously stretching yourself beyond your capabilities, which includes failing and making mistakes. What makes people who are grity successful is that they don’t give up because of the failures or mistakes.
Though this is an hour long video, this TED Talk by Angela Lee Duckworth is worth watching. When my math teacher had me watch this last semester, it changed my perspective on success completely. It also helped me to understand that it’s important I make mistakes to find out what works and what doesn’t, and that though I may make them a lot, or even fail from time to time, the important things are that I am trying and striving to progress.
Whether you are trying to kick a bad habit or start a good one, don’t be discouraged by failures or mistakes but rather be gritty about them. You may actually be on the right path after all!
They have this acronym in support groups called HALT. Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. it’s been my experience that when I’m tried I feel hungry, angry, and lonely. When I’m fatigue, I’m moody. I feel like a crazy person who’s vulnerable to making mistake and the circular thinking becomes stronger, making me feel like I don’t have a fighting chance.
If you’ve been overwhelmed and lacking the energy to stick to your guns, chances are you are like me and need to get better sleep. Life won’t stop happening because we want to work on ourselves, but with better sleep your resistance to stress will give you more discipline over your feelings. You won’t feel as though the world is throwing lemon juice on your nerve endings.
I found some tips online that I’ve practiced myself to develop a bedtime routine. Remember, we are creatures of habit and develop sleep patterns too. The trick to better sleep is what you do before to wind down. Taking a bubble bath, reading, sipping hot tea, and listening to calming music are some. Another that I do is a guided meditation when anxious to stop the excessive thinking about how tired I am and how bad I need sleep.
Some of you might be fighting for you life right now like I had been and it can be overwhelming, but it’s not impossible. Actually, it’s so much easier than you think with good rest. Warriors need their sleep.
This blog is your Plan B, with suggestions and directions to what to do in the city, whether it be in regards to nightlife, theater, where to grab a bite, or what to do on a date. This is the spot to figure out cost , time and location of all the local cultural happenings in San Francisco.
My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.