Why saying no gets you ahead

No is yes? In this article “Why saying ‘no’ gets you ahead,” Camille Preston offers a great perspective on boundaries and being a “yes” man. By saying no to what’s not working, you are actually saying yes to the things that are. Your life, your happiness is your responsibility. Your choices are your choices. Other’s happiness and ability to be flexible is not your responsibility. Stop the indirect pressure to make your life worthy to other people. You only live once, so why feel like your life is any less than your own? When you take reigns of your own life and do and be where you want, the likelihood of a positive experience is high, and positive vibes is more helpful to others then giving in and being a doormat. If you feel guilty about saying “No” sometimes, anytime, or have even once, this article is worth checking out. Preston provides reasonable tips on how to manage your own life, in a way your can feel OK about.

Fortune

Everyone knows the adage: good fences make good neighbors. Basically, it means to set firm boundaries. By setting boundaries, we find the freedom to behave in our best interest, with fewer distractions and fewer unwanted intrusions. This is even more important in our digital age, where there are so many people vying for our attention and so many ways to be distracted.

Building good fences—setting boundaries—is one of the most important skills to master for both personal and professional growth. And one of the most important aspects of a good fence is the ability to say no to the people, activities and engagements that we do not enjoy or that do not advance us personally or professionally. When you say no to the things that don’t help you, you are, in effect, saying yes to the things that will. By saying no, you open up the space necessary for yes.

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You cannot be successful without failing

I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan

Ever wonder why some people are so good at what they do? Why that is? How come they are so successful at what they do, and why it seems way harder for you to do the same exact thing?

It all comes down to this trait that successful people have in common: Grit. This trait- which is defined as strength and resolve- is a trait we all have, but is not developed by all. Grit means continuously stretching yourself beyond your capabilities, which includes failing and making mistakes. What makes people who are grity successful is that they don’t give up because of the failures or mistakes.

Though this is an hour long video, this TED Talk by Angela Lee Duckworth is worth watching. When my math teacher had me watch this last semester, it changed my perspective on success completely. It also helped me to understand that it’s important I make mistakes to find out what works and what doesn’t, and that though I may make them a lot, or even fail from time to time, the important things are that I am trying and striving to progress.

Whether you are trying to kick a bad habit or start a good one, don’t be discouraged by failures or mistakes but rather be gritty about them. You may actually be on the right path after all!

Thank You Thursday

Sometimes, the hardest thing for me to do is be grateful, even though I know it’s the key to happiness. Not so much when circumstances go the way I plan, but more like when they don’t or when they are moving slower than I’d like. I seem to forget in these times where I’ve came from and what I’ve accomplished thus far because I am hyper focused on immediate results from whatever it is I’m working on in the now. I’ve learned that when I feel like this in the present, it is an opportunity for me to reflect on what I’ve been grateful for in the past.

I love this commercial because it’s true; sometimes you have to go back and remind yourself of all the hurdles and obstacles you’ve already overcome to help with the obstacles you are going through right now.

My best friend Kevin passed away two years ago after a relapse. When I attended his funeral, his uncle was the first to speak when It was time to share, and spoke about hope in times where one might feel like giving up, and using past experiences as part of that hope to help get through those times. He gave me a copy of what he said so I’d be sure to not forget.

kevin

So in honor of Thank You Thursday, I am thankful for what I’ve already overcome, and thankful in advance that my current circumstances will fall in line with my past triumphs. I am even more grateful for those who randomly have helped me over the years by reminding me to do this.

Relax, just do it

I used to think the goal of meditating was to unlock this door to another dimension of life. I realize now it’s to quiet my mind to unlock the door of anxieties that keep me from enjoying the moment.

Additionally, I used to think meditation meant being quiet, and was used to make you brain quiet enough to sleep. I have also come to realize that meditation not only offers peace, but redirects energy from worrying to focusing.

The best part is that you can do it around people, outdoors, and through movement. It’s even more simpler than you might think.

linda mar beach
Pacifica State Beach at dusk.

After a week of stressing about school, falling short on some of my new habits I’ve been trying to make routine, I found myself at the beach. As I noticed the birds, dolphins, and puppies that were walking by, I noticed I wasn’t thinking about my problems. I felt the sand on my skin, the cool wind on my face, and without trying I was able to let go. Focusing and being is a huge part of mindfulness, and is the essence of meditation. I left the beach calm and collected, with a new perspective around my school work, and energy to do it. I found myself drawn to the surrounding nature the rest of the week.

I decided to map the locations that I’ve experienced such peace. If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area these locations are wonderful to meditate at. If you don’t, you might think of some locations similar to the ones I mapped.